So I started this blog a few years back. I wrote 2 blogs to never do it again… until this morning.
Why the sudden change ?
Well I am now alcohol free for 10 days . That might not seem like a big deal to some people but it is for me.
As you know I am a mother of 2 kids . My son is now 6 and my daughter is now 9 . They are the most beautiful creatures on this planet! They are my world ! Always have been and always will be. I am a wife and have been with my husband Lauren who is 36 for 14 years . I am 33 years old ! So you can say it’s been a hell of a ride.
So what brought me here today?
Well my family life has been crumbling beneath me . My marriage has been in one of it’s lowest times and my kids, I can tell are feeling it and the stress. I’ve had countless drama nights fuelled by alcohol and it’s really starting to take a toll on my family life . I am not a bad mother by any means , but let’s just say I am very disappointing and make bad decisions way to frequently! This goes for my husband as well. Him more than I, and that’s what’s fuelling our outbreaks . The kids are watching us drink and fight , or drink and see us lose our inhibitions and become people we don’t like and in the morning are humiliated to have become.
We’ve had some harsh realities take place recently about if we are fit enough parents, and the fact that that has been said and we are been watched is the scariest part, and the scariest shit right now! How have I let my family become this way? How have I continued to be the party girl for so long ? Why have I not understood the harsh realities of it all until now? Why did I enable it for so long ? Why is it not fun anymore? Why am I still doing it ?
Anyone that knows me knows how much my children mean to me and how loved they are. They have not been neglected by any means, but in a way I can say they definitely have been disappointed. And nervous !
Why does mom and dad say certain things when they drink . Then don’t when their sober ?! I get that.
Anyways ! Long storey short, I made a big change for us all. I joined a fb group called ” one year no beer challenge “. It’s an alcohol free group that you join that keeps you motivated and on track. It’s been wonderful! I am now on day 10 and feeling great . I’ve had more energy and more laughter and happiness . I’ve spent way more time with my kids clear headed . I haven’t disappointed them in 10 days and that feels amazing ! The group I joined is so wonderful . There’s others like me all over the world , changing ! Growing! Being more creative.
One of my daily tasks I have to do is find a creative outlet again to keep me busy and blogging came to mind!! “Hey I have my old blog I haven’t written in, in years!!! I’ll do that and blog my journey!!”
So here I am !
I’m alive , feeling charged and ready! Ready to build my family up Strong and build a new Nicole (me) up stronger then ever before !
I hope you will enjoy my posts and enjoy reading about my journey into sobriety!
And I hope if your reading this and you are struggling with drinking or drugs , that maybe I can help you too!
Much love ,